whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Dick very happy bro
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
