have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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