please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
