Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize