How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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