Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
