I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
