i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
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The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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