Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
