My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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