What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
