I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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