that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
