Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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