Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Randomize
