i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
