D3 body, D1 cock
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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