Are we in a gay sports bar?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
