If i come over, it means nothing
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
