"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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