i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
