Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
