Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
