I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm both gender and math confused
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
