Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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