My hair reeks of homosexuality.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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