So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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