she was so not down for the gang bang
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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