i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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