You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
