we're chasing vodka with high fives
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize
