Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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