We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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