i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
