What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
