Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
