it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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