Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The best revenge is premature balding
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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