Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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