youre lurking in front of me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
