thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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