I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
