I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
