Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
