Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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