We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
