And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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