he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
