My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
