ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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