Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
