so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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