i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize