my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
He better not be in your backpack
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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