we have officially lost it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
