I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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