3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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