whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
