That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Barsexuality is the new black.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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