He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
